Puberty
by Frgtyou
Summary: Puberty is much more complicated than what Clare Edwards had expected. As a teenage girl, she has struggled to recognize who she truly is. With the help of certain boys, and a conditional, bubbly friend, she shall learn every emotional part of growing up.
1. Woman

**A/N: **So. New story here!

**TEN CHAPTERS MAX**. for this story. This is going to be a collection of **ONE-SHOTS**.

I've been watching re-runs and I've observed how Clare has changed overtime. This story is going to stay in character. **No OOC**. I only hope I can do justice for each person. It's going to be based on a couple of people I think have affected Clare in some sort of way. Including EVERY boy she had encountered, yep!

So just a preview of people that will be mentioned, a chapter each for them: The vibrator (yes, I think this was the first thing to help Clare realize more about sex.), Alli, Connor, K.C., Reese, Wesley, Declan, Fitz and **Eli**!

This is a prologue.

* * *

**Woman**

Wo·man [_noun_]: A matured human who obtains scientifically two X chromosomes. Generally referred to as an adult female.

.

Reverend Duncan menioned once that God had created the first woman _and_ man in his sixth day labor climax. Eve was created so that Adam could have a companion, someone to love and spend the rest of their lives with each other.

But in simpler terms, I saw a woman as someone who had breasts, different reproductive organs, and behavior.

To Darcy, a woman was someone who was married, mature, had kids, gone through puberty, etc.

I don't see the big deal girls in my eighth-grade class make about being one. Just because they got a boyfriend or stopped using training bras doesn't make them a 'woman'.

I sit in the back, watching them with an extreme annoyance, giggle and gossip on who is the cutest boy, cup sizes that they are, and planning what they are going to wear for graduation.

_Oh God_. Let me not forget, them mentioning those excrutiating cramps they face during their periods. The menstrual cycle is perfectly normal and natural, but that is not something a young girl should discuss with others, _especially_ in an are filled with immature boys.

School is for learning, _not_ getting involved in a relationship nor 'fooling around', so that our society can progress more, become a better world. _We_ are the future, and nobody seems to care.

_I can't even believe some disobey their parents_. I certainly don't, because my mother and father know what's best: Go to church every week, get good grades, stay away from the trouble makers, and act smart/ be safe.

I want to have a good future when I grow up and go to college, _a good one_.

_But hey_, I hear Degrassi has an excellent gifted program.

* * *

**Review?**


	2. Alli

**A/N:** I forgot to mention, I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI, just this story.

Hey, glad to hear that some of you are excited for this story! But it will probably be around ten chapters and one-shots on each person.

So, this is something I thought would be important. I mean, NOONE can deal with puberty with out a BFF! I dedicate this to my best friend, without her by my side, I would have never grown in many ways both emotionally and physically. Because of her, I had someone to talk to, because parents aren't always the most understandiing people, sometimes.

I think Alli had a HUGE influence on Clare. Without Alli, Jenna wouldn't get her ass told after stealing K.C.; Clare wouldn't hasve someone to share those raging vampire-fiction hormones, OR MOST IMPORTANTLY Eli would have gone to the carwash and make out with some girl!

I love you Alli :D

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* * *

**

**Best Friend**

_Be calm and collected. It's just high school. Clare, you can do this, no way and no how will anybody intimidate you, everything shall be alright, you have Darcy, just in case._

"You can't wear that!" Some boy complained, pulling me out of my train of thoughts.

I turned around to look and found a girl shimmying out of a long, floral skirt. She unzipped a wool sweater and released her beautiful black hair into freedom, once she untied her plain ponytails. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion.

_Why is she dressing in the middle of nowhere?_

This place is officially weird.

The school had festive banner welcoming the huge amount of teenagers walking inside or either waiting for their friends to arrive. Everyone was so different, I already recognized the good and bad apples by the way they dressed and talked.

I wandered my eyes back and forth, and tried to keep up with Darcy's pace, which was being followed by her boyfriend Peter.

"Hey! Good summer?" A pretty girl asked Darcy and swung her arms joyfully as she walked.

"Best." Darcy rose her eyebrows simply; she turned to look at me and placed a hand on my shoulder, "This is my sister, Clare. Grade nine." Darcy hymned and bounced out of the conversation.

_Grade nine? Please._

"Uh, the gifted class." I answered abruptly, something wanted me to let others know, I was here to learn. _And nothing else_.

The boy that I saw previously came out of nowhere, "Alli's in that class too." He said.

I turned around and was granted a clear view of the girl.

She's almost naked, for crying out loud.

The thin pink tank top and jean short-shorts were too revealing for my taste. If Reverend Duncan ever saw me or Darcy wearing that to Sunday mass, we would be shunned upon.

"You swore you wouldn't tell anyone." She gritted through her teeth, her gaze following the movement her brother took, before he left.

Before I could even begin to wonder what just happen-

An adult with blonde hair and blue eyes followed into the topic, "Hey guys! This is my godson, Connor. He's going to be boarding with me, so he can attend the gifted program." The man cocked an eyebrow at us, "So, maybe you can navigate registration together? And...I'll, uh see you in homeroom!" He tried to persuade and went on his own.

_So he was a teacher?_

I looked at the boy, wearing a gray sweater and plain blue shirt. His glasses seemed like the same brand I had, _maybe we could be friends_.

I looked around at the huge school, the people here are already different from my old friends, and I soon felt an irritating churn emerge inside of my stomach. I gave a nervous lick to my braces and shifted my glasses to the rim of my eyes. My thoughts were soon interrupted once the bell had rung.

Alli looked back at me and Connor, giving an awkward smile, before she walked ahead.

I followed as well as Connor.

"So, where are you from?" Alli asked, irritatingly.

"I went to Pinewood Preparatory." I replied in a stiff voice.

"Oh, _that_ private school?"

I nodded my head, and we looked back at Connor, who walked away to go off on his own.

Alli rolled her eyes at him, "Nice outfit." She changed the topic as she eyed me up and down.

"Likewise." I muttered, obviously knowing she disapproved my choice of clothing with the same intensity I had for her's.

We started walking in silence, when a group of seniors shoved through the both of us. "Niner dorks seriously messing up this school, I can barely breathe." An intimidating boy with greasy brown hair in a trucker's hat shook his head.

"Idiots." We _both_ scoffed at the same time.

I looked at her with a softer gaze and she gave me a steady grin.

"Want to hang out at lunch?" Alli asked, "We can meet right outside the library?"

"Sure." I smiled, when we walked into homeroom, we took our seats next to each other. Then class was dismissed shortly after, and we went in our separate ways once we received schedules by Mr. Simpson.

After the morning went by and separate classes finished, initialing the start of lunch, I waited for Alli right outside of the library. She arrived with bright magazine clutched to her chest and a brown paper bag.

"So, where do we go?" I asked.

"The cafeteria, of course!"

"Don't seniors hang out there?" I contradicted her statement.

She gave a haughty chuckle, "_Exactly_, we need to get in touch with the who's whos and stay away from the losers. Our reputation starts today." Alli grinned in an excited mood.

I squinted my eyes in disbelief. She's one of _those _girls.

"Alright." I shrugged, willing to put up with her personality rather than eating lunch in the bathroom stalls.

When we walked inside the cafeteria, we noticed that all the tables were full. Alli groaned in frustration.

"Hey? What about there?" I gestured to the table with Connor, sitting all alone munching on some carrots.

"With _him_?" Alli scoffed.

"Why not?" I replied and saw that she grunted inaudible words under her breath, "Suit yourself." I glanced at her and made my way to Connor.

"Mind if I take this seat?" I asked, tugging at the edge of the table, when Connor raised his head at me casually.

"No, just don't touch any of my lunch." Connor mumbled.

"Will do." I chirped.

Shortly after, Alli arrived with her arms crossed and pulled the seat next to me. "I can make an exception today." She attempted a timid smile.

"Glad to hear that." I grinned and pulled a peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of my lunchbox. I grimaced at it, knowing that I was becoming tired of eating that almost every day.

Alli seemed to feel the same about at her lunch, which was a simple fruit salad. "I am so sick of fruit." She muttered.

"Want to trade?" I offered.

"Is it pork? My parents would kill me if I ate pork, it's against my religion."

"No, it's your typical peanut butter and jelly sandwich." I offered.

"Sure." She smiled.

We both ate in satisfaction, and by the middle of lunch Connor went to the media immersion room and Alli glanced across the cafeteria.

"Isn't he cute?" She tugged on my shoulder and pointed to a boy with curly blonde hair and a scary look.

I shuddered at the thought, "I don't know."

"Well, what type of guys do you like?" Alli continued.

"Why do you want to know?" My voice was filled with an abnormal curiosity.

"Because, that's what friends talk about."

_Friends?_

"I-I don't even know, actually." I felt a warming blush creep up on the side of my cheeks.

"_Everyone_ has a type." Alli said in an 'as a matter of fact' tone and paused, to reach in her bag, pulling out the magazine she had before, as well as a pencil.

She flipped the pages, until she reached the middles of it.

"Blue eyes or green eyes?" Alli nodded her head at me.

"_What's your type_?" My eye's scanned the magazine quiz. "This is a piece of stereotypical judgment among teenage girls. There is no way it could decipher if-"

"Just answer the question." Alli scolded. "Green or blue eyes." She repeated.

"Green." I shrugged, and watched her bubble in an answer.

"Boxers or briefs?" She asked bluntly.

I almost choked on a grape and felt my eyes bulge out.

"Who asks that?" I softly yelled.

"This magazine does, but I'll just leave this blank, seeing that the question makes you quake." She giggled.

"_I'm_, not the one talking about male undergarments while we are eating lunch." I replied.

"Yeah, yeah. Next question: Dinner and a movie or a book reading?" Alli asked and already was bubbling in an answer.

"I haven't even answered the question."

"You don't have to; I know what you will pick."

"That's not true." I whined.

"Oh really? What were you going to choose?" Alli wiggled her head in amusement.

"The-the, um…book reading." I muttered.

"Exactly." Alli smiled in victory.

_Oh, Lord._

"Okay, what do you prefer? Independent or affectionate?"

"Independent." I took another sip of my water.

After a couple more questions, Alli tallied the results. I was longing to know what it was secretly, even though it was nonsense.

Alli fought back a laugh, "Wow."

"What? What did I get?"

"You got…bad boys!" Alli grinned.

Bad boys? _No, no, and no_. I expected a boy who is interested in his schoolwork, polite, and sweet, not an immature buffoon.

"There's got to be a mistake." I denied the idea.

"The magazine does not lie, Clare."

"Those things don't even know anything. How can a page filled with ink engravings tell me what type of guy I would like any way?" I scoffed.

"If you say so." Alli sing-songed.

I stayed quiet and fiddled with my fingers.

"Please Clare; tell me that a damaged soul doesn't sound so beautiful, so hot? Tell me." Alli taunted.

I bit my lip and click with my braces, "I, I- mean…no."

"I don't believe you." Alli pressed the subject.

I shifted in my seat and scanned the cafeteria with guys laughing with their friends, talking to beautiful girls, and eating down their lunch.

"Why should I even care? No boy would look at me in that way anyways." I mumbled and chewed the inside of my cheek.

I felt a warm a hand reach for mines, "You're really pretty Clare. And nice too, besides your mom makes a pretty mean PB&J."

I bowed my head down in an attempt to hide the grin she built upon my face.

"Thanks."

"Never mind that…want to come over my house today? To work on our 'first day of school' essay Ms. Kwan assigned, of course." Alli changed the subject.

All of a sudden, my hearted warmed at the thought of Alli and I being friends. She was a nice girl with a spontaneous personality, smart despise her looks, and good at heart.

My mother and father always said it is good to give people a chance. _So what the heck_?

"I'd like that, a lot." I sighed and smoothed out my plaid skirt, ready to walk with her to class.

I could feel memories and moments start to form that I would cherish with Alli in the future. We could get along despise the fact she wore shorts and I wore skirts, she wore mascara and I had glasses, she wore lacy bras and I still had my training bra, she was amazed by boys and I by books. We were opposites in the simplest form, and because of her I started to realize that the world is less black and white, that growing up would need a companion that will be there for you in the good and the bad, no matter what, that she and I shall learn from our mistakes together.

I think I found that _best_ friend.

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**A/N:**

Oh god! I hope I managed to stay in character! .

**Review and tell me please?**


	3. Connor

**A/N: **I enjoyed writing this, my favorite tenner! I love Connor, Wesley is adorable. But Connor can be adorable, is straight-forward, and his indifferent personality is hilarious :)

I liked his friendship with Clare and his crush for her was too cute! We need more Connor and Clare interaction :D

Tell me what you think, sorry that I took so long to update but AP Exams are nearing and I'm studying for TWO! :(

* * *

**Heartbreaker**

"You really think Clare will say yes?" K.C. grinned at Alli, he crinkled his nose and continued writing on the flimsy note.

Alli batted her eyelashes knowingly, "Are you kidding! How could she say no? I am _so_ excited for this dance." Alli said, as she eyed the halls of Degrassi.

It was covered in shiny balloons of pink, purple, red, and white. Streamers were wrapped around the windows and colorful flyers were stamped in each corner.

Clare had not yet arrived to school, to view the wonderful sight.

"Wish me luck." K.C. sighed to Sav and Anya who were distributing the roses.

They both gave K.C. and encouraging smile and off he went. From a short distance, Connor saw the scene and immediately his boyish instincts kicked in. He wasted no time and rushed over to both Sav and Anya.

"What was K.C. doing with that heart?" Connor said firmly. Anya and Sav ignored him, noticing that, Connor turned to Alli.

"What was K.C. doing with that heart?" Connor repeated.

Alli gave a small scoff, "Sending Clare a rose for the dance."

Connor's eyes bulged out of his sockets, seen beneath his glasses and let a frustrated sigh. Alli became alert, "Don't you dare tell Clare."

"She should go with me! We are better friends." Connor protested.

_Ah_._ Yes_.

Clare Edwards.

She wasn't exactly Degrassi's cream of the crop. Yet, K.C. and Connor. _Especially_ Connor Deslauriers, saw the sweet, gentle, caring, patient, loveable features of Clare. She didn't judge him for his condition. In fact she was there for him, when nobody else was. Her determination and compassion was more than enough for Connor to actually have feelings for Clare. To want to be more than friends with her, to spend time at robot wars with her, to play a little bit of video games with her, to...take her to the dance.

"Ugh." Alli sighed and walked away, obviously indifferent to Connor's feelings.

Connor grew stressed and dug in his right pocket, pulling out two dollars.

"I'd like to make a purchase, please." Connor eyed Anya and the red roses behind her with a cheesy grin.

"Okie dokie." Anya smiled.

Connor was determined, especially for Clare Edwards.

* * *

"Have a good day, sweetie." Mom yelled from the car. Kids giggled at me, and I awkwardly waved to her goodbye.

The bell rang, and I was heading to homeroom. I was awfully tired working on the mechanical portion of the robot K.C, Alli, Connor and I were working on for the competition this weekend.

I straightened out my skirt before I walked in. I took a seat next to Alli and she eyed me knowingly. "What is it, do I have something in my braces?" I sighed and licked them.

"No, no, nothing." She winked.

_Honestly_. Alli sure was a peculiar girl.

I saw Connor smiling at me and I waved hi to him. Connor was a pretty decent boy. He was really good at school work and sometimes we would work on homework together afterschool. When I found out he had asperger's syndrome, I felt that he needed a friend to go through with it. Reverend Duncan always preached that we should love one another, no matter how different one is. Connor was a gifted and sweet boy also. He and I always knew the answer in every class, and that made us get along even better.

"Big congratulations to Team Degrassi who will bring Panthro here, to the finals this weekend!" Simpson announced in class, gesturing to our robot, Panthro.

K.C. and Alli came up with the name. Connor and I wanted to name it the Gigabot 20. Considering that it had 20 volts build into its system, I thought it complimented the technological theme, and so did Connor. I guess that is why he got along with me the most.

The class clapped, and a warm voice whispered behind me, "Told you, your design would qualify." K.C. smiled at me, I returned the expression and shook my head to hide the blush he was creating upon my face.

I felt my stomach do a cartwheel and my knees shake just at the soft look he gave me.

Just then someone knocked at the door, "Delivery." It was the pretty girl I once saw Darcy talk with on the first day of school. She scanned the room and looked at me. "_Of love_." She continued and gave me the same look Alli did minutes ago.

I guess she was delivering the secret admirer roses for the dance this week. I knew I wouldn't be attending to the event.

So, I shrugged off the thought and focused my attention on the board noticing we had homework for tonight. I began to copy down the agenda on my weekly planner, when all of sudden I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"This one's for you." The girl, Anya grinned at me. I looked at the delicate rose in disbelief.

_How is this possible? What the-_

I took it and noticed its soft surface, my eyes then wandered to the flimsy heart-shaped note at the bottom.

I opened it delicately and read what literally shook my hands.

_Dance, you and me? Say yes, please._

_-K.C._

I stopped and reread it to make sure it wasn't a lie.

"What do you think?" K.C.'s voice anticipated.

A dance? With a boy? I-

Before I could even finish thinking, another rose was flashed in front of me.

"And another one." Anya giggles. I look at it.

Oh, dear God.

I waste no time and open a simpler note with a blue frame lining its borders.

_Clare, I would very much appreciate the honor of you accompanying me to the dance._

_-Connor D._

This here a crisis. Why me?

I just wanted to work on homework this weekend.

* * *

"It's the tread of the claw."

"It's the wire."

"Tread."

"Wire."

"Stop! Why are you two acting like idiots?" I glanced at both K.C. and Connor, arguing why our robot could not pick up an object.

Alli jumped into the scene and crossed her arms at me, "_Because_, you haven't decided who's taking you to the dance."

I sighed. I knew this was going to be a problem from the start. I had to be fair and frank.

"Then I just won't go at all." I decide and walk away, being followed by Alli into the girl's bathroom.

"Earth to Clare?" Alli snorts.

"What? This is preposterous; both of them need to be mature about the situation. This is exactly why I shouldn't get involved with a boy, they are nothing but trouble." I huff in frustration.

"_Clare_." Alli pauses. "You like K.C., he likes you. I am positive that equals out to a date to the dance."

"But, Connor is my friend too. I have more things in common with him."

"And?" Alli furrowed her eyebrows. "That doesn't mean _you_ like him."

"But. I can't just be mean. He's been too nice to me, that's just wrong." I explain to her.

"I would kill to have two guys to fight over me. With the exception of Connor..." Alli shuddered.

"That's not very nice, Alli." I mock.

"Whatever." She pauses. "Guess we better go back outside. Hopefully K.C. didn't beat up Connor, or Connor hasn't electrocuted K.C., yet."

I giggle at her nonsense and step out.

* * *

As it turned out. We won the robot wars. Not only that. Connor completely ambushed me in front of a hundred people, asking me to the dance.

I couldn't say no. I _wanted_ to, I was _about_ to once I saw the look on K.C.'s face. His nostrils were flaring and his eyes were so lost. I don't know what overcame me and made me say yes.

That was the day I realized something inside of me...I always decided from right and wrong. And stood up for what I believed in, no matter how ridiculous it had seemed.

But, that day. That day, something within me built a barrier, a wall between all those loose thoughts.

My _conscious_.

Everything became so complicated then and now. I shouldn't even be going to the dance, I had choir practice that night. Yet, when my mom found out Connor, the kid with the second highest GPA in the ninth grade, asked me out to the dance, she smiled at me and took my pale blue dress to get washed at the cleaners, after she and my father took me out for some celebratory ice cream, even though the weather wasn't hot.

The look on Alli's face told me she was disappointed in my decision. But it was fair, in the end. I knew that K.C. could manage and find another girl to take to the dance. Even though, I didn't want him to.

So here I am, on a Friday afternoon, having my mom tie my hair in a ponytail and polish my shoes, helping me get ready for the dance.

"Such a sweet boy. Isn't he your teacher's godson?" My mother asked.

"Yes." I mumble miserably.

Her hands holds the brush that continuously runs through my hair, she eyes at me and I notice a sneaky look in her eyes.

"Wait here, just a sec." My mother left me sitting on my bed.

When she came back she carried a small wooden box in her hands. I eyed at it in pure confusion. I went from confused to utterly disgusted once I saw what she began to pull out.

"_Mom_." I whined.

"Clare, come here." She gestured.

"Please, no makeup!" I beg, eyeing at the tube of cherry lip gloss and mascara.

"Just a little bit. It won't kill you Clare Diane Edwards."

I cringe at the make-up and back away from her, "Please mom, don't make me." I ask nicely.

My mother rolls her eyes at me and places her hands on her hips, "Fine."

I smile at her gratefully. I really don't want any of that garbage plastered on my face, for heaven's sake it's a school-sanction event, not a rodeo, for me to get clowned up.

I really don't understand how Alli or girls at Degrassi can have this stuff on their faces. It hurts. Last time Darcy tried to put mascara and eyeliner on me, I ended up in tears.

I told my mother, I was ready to go. Seeing that I agreed to meet up with Connor at the dance.

* * *

"So, I analyzed this week's National Geographic, and found that elephants don't sweat and they use their ears which have blood vessels to fan out the heat. That's why their ears are so big! Cool, isn't it?" Connor and I are wallflowers watching all the other kids dance, while I stay here and listen to him talk and _talk_.

"I didn't know that. Interesting." I smile at him, trying to make the most out of this 'date'.

"Yeah, but you know what's better?" He asks and I nod at him to continue, "EZGames just published an article of a new RPG coming out next year, called Realm of Doom." He grinned.

"What's an RPG?" I mutter bashfully.

Connor laughs and puts a hand on my shoulder, he scoffs ever so briefly and looks at me seriously, "An RPG is a role playing game. It is only the best thing ever invented, Shigeru Miyamoto would kill to have been to the one to come up with those type of games."

I decide I don't even want to know who Shigru Mimatoe is anyways and give him a brief laugh, pretending that what he sad actually amused me.

I scan the room, and see Alli speaking with a greasy twelfth grader with curly blonde hair. I look around once more in search of K.C. and I don't find him.

Connor glances at me and smiles, "Hey. Do you care to dance?"

"Sure."

We walk to the dance floor and the song is an up-beat tune. Connor just sways his legs back and forth, with absolutely no rhythm, while I try and keep my moves simple. Ones that my grandmother taught both Darcy and I when we were younger.

All of a sudden the lights dim and a slow song starts. Connor and I eye each other awkwardly and continue dancing just the way we were. That is until, Bruce the Moose, Degrassi's greased neanderthal chuckled at us.

"_Kiddies_. Tsk, tsk, tsk." He groans. "You are doing it wrong, my man." He shakes his head at Connor. Then, he slams my body against Connor's to a proximity, close enough I feel Connor's breath on my forehead.

"_That_ is how you do it." Bruce wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at us and walks away.

Connor gives me grin that makes me feel uneasy and embarrassed. I pull away from him and walk away quickly.

_I can't do this._

I walk out to the hallways and keep my eyes fixated on the steps I make, not wanting to look at anyone in the eye.

Once I reach the east end of the hallway, I hear several boys talking. I walk even faster, when I feel footsteps closer to my distance. A hand grabs my arm with a forceful touch and I look up to _those_ hazel-brown eyes.

"Clare?" K.C. asks concerned. He looks handsome tonight and I notice him with a tie, I would have laughed at this 'formal' K.C. if I wasn't in a bad mood.

"I-I wanted to go with you." I blurt out. I instantly look away and feel his arms on my shoulder, reaching to cup my face.

"Prove it." He declares.

I smile sheepishly, and I don't know what all these feelings are, from confused, uncomfortable, weird, embarrassed, to just _right_.

He places his hands gently above my waist and I place mine on his shoulders, we dance to the slow song heard from the gym and sway to its rhythm.

"Clare! You're supposed to be _my_ date!" Connor's voice interrupts the moment and the look on his eyes,almost breaks my heart. He pouts and walks away overdramatically.

I eye at K.C. apologetically and turn to follow Connor, "Connor!" I yell after him.

When I reach him, he is by a secluded part of the halls, near the media immersion room.

He stares off into space with his hands dug into his pocket.

"I'm sorry." I say

"No, you aren't." He shakes his head.

We stay silent until he decides to speak, "Why did you go with me to the dance then?"

I take in a deep breath, "And reject you in front of all those people? Connor, you're my friend. I couldn't do that."

He lets out a small smile. "You're too nice Clare." He sighs, "I deserve this."

"No. Don't say that. I shouldn't have danced with K.C. You are right, I'm you're date. It was wrong of me."

"We are both a fault, aren't we?" Connor fidgets with both of his hands.

I take a step closer to him, "I really am sorry."

He raises his head to look at me and pushes his glasses back to his face. "Do you..._like me_?" Connor breathes.

I know the answer already, but hesitate to speak, "You're one of my best friends. We have a lot in common and you are nice guy, but I -"

"You like K.C." He finishes for me.

I blush and stay quiet.

"It's okay Clare..." He sighs and regains his posture immediately, "As long as you could give me one last dance? And still be my friend?"

"Of course, _friend_." I smiled at him genuinely and grab his arm, leading him to the gym.

Rejecting a guy is once thing I learned. As well as two guys liking me. I haven't experienced heartbreak and don't plan to. I don't know how Connor exactly felt about me, but I bet it was pretty awful for him that I couldn't return his feelings. If it's one thing Connor has helped me learn, it is that we all can't have what we want in the end, and that we all have to deal with it in one way or another. I just wished I wasn't the person who had done that to him, because during our dance, I heard him sigh with sad eyes and a remorseful pout. I never meant to let anyone feel like that because of me. But I know one day, I will go through the same situation Connor did, or _something similar_.

* * *

**A/N:**

If you guys haven't noticed, I am going in a chronological order.

I'm not sure who came first, Connor or the vibrator? I'm pretty sure it was Connor. IDK. So next chapter shall be the infamous sex toy! WOO-HOO!

**Review?**


	4. The Vibrator

**A/N: **Okay, I'm having **doubts** about continuing this fan-fic. I spent a great deal amount of time on the last one and only got one review.

That's the worst I have ever done. One is pretty sad. I work hard on these chapters and I need to know in any way at all if you guys appreciate them. So, thank you to **hunnyfresh**: you always review and I am really thankful for your feedback. This chapter is dedicated to you, no joke.

So, I am not going to force you guys to leave reviews, because authors like that are one of my pet peeves. I am just saying that reviews are feedback to me, and one review just tells me that this story isn't good, and I should stop. Because I have other stuff on my plate I could focus on.

* * *

**The Color Purple**

"Armstrong is frying my brain." K.C. pouted.

"It's not so bad. Algebra is _way_ too easy." Alli sighed.

"I don't know; binomials and quadratics are getting a tad bit complicated." I begged to differ.

Algebra II was pretty intense this semester. I never really had a problem with math; in fact it was pretty fun for me at times. However, lately things were getting more difficult with Coach Armstrong giving us random pop-quizzes and tests that counted for a ridiculous amount of our grades.

Alli let out a small giggle, "_Of course_. The scent of books turns _Saint_ Clare on."

I blushed furiously and felt insulted by Alli's comment. Especially when K.C. chuckled at her comment.

"Because that is scientifically possible." I replied sarcasm dripping my voice.

Alli gave me an apologizing look, but I shrugged it off.

"Maybe we should have a study session. I need all the help I can get." K.C. spoke.

My mind drifted off to idea of the both of us bonding over an afternoon of quadratic formulas and complicated equations. _Wait, what?_ W-with Connor and Alli of course.

"I second that. We should get together." Connor agreed.

"My house? Afterschool?" I offered. The four of us were always used to working on projects together there frequently.

Alli sighed, and K.C. smiled at me. I never noticed until now, that perhaps they were becoming fed up of the same routine.

I turned to look at Connor, who seemed satisfied with my proposal.

"Or..." Alli grew that infamous mischievous look in her eyes, "We could work at Connor's." She grinned.

K.C. seemed relieved by the idea, and Connor scrunched his face in disbelief, "No." He simply stated. Alli and I both gave him questioning looks, "We always work at Clare's."

"Which is why we should switch it up." Alli winked at me, and I right away knew she was up to something. She stiffened her posture, "_Now_, go tell your godfather we'll be there afterschool." She tilted her head with a taunting smile.

Connor sighed in defeat and walked away to look for Mr. Simpson. Alli turned to K.C. and I, "What? Aren't you guys excited to see what a teacher's house looks like?"

K.C. and I shook our heads at Alli, and ignored her question. K.C. then grabbed his backpack and nodded at the both of us, "See you guys later."

"Bye." I said breathlessly.

Alli walked up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Sorry about the comment, Clare. Didn't mean to make you sound like a prude in front of the guys."

"It's okay." I mumbled.

_It wasn't okay_. In fact it hurt me that everyone was fine about mocking my "pure" thoughts. It wasn't my fault I was raised in a family never mentioning sex, until it concerned my purity ring, or when Darcy...

It still pains me to bring the subject up. Ever since _that incident_ had occurred, my parents were watching our every move twenty-four seven. Up to the point that my television could only access cable programs that were rated PG or G. Also, our internet had a protective firewall, which I never had a problem with, until I needed to research some stuff for my biology homework and I would have to ask Alli for help on it.

Just the other day, Kevin Mitchell was making a joke about the number sixty-nine in math class. Everyone laughed, and Coach Armstrong seemed really bothered by it. I was the only one in class who didn't know what it meant. I was too afraid to ask Alli or my parents, fearing that they would laugh at me or give me weird looks. I just felt that I didn't belong sometimes. It never bothered me, until now. Because, I was now in a school with an environment filled with teenagers with crazed hormones, doing stuff my parents would both look down upon and shun. I was bound to grow a sudden curiosity, oblivious to those around me.

* * *

"So, it's the square root of two hundred-twenty five, you factor both sides and then you solve for x." Connor was helping all of us with a problem we were stuck on.

We were in his living room, by his coffee table working on the tenth problem we have reached so far. Alli kept glancing around the house, gaping at how Mr. Simpson's house looked like. Yet, she seemed unsatisfied with the view, as if she was expecting a fire-breathing dragon or something.

"I need some brain food." K.C. spoke; we could all hear his stomach growling with an immense hunger. "Why don't you show me where the snacks are?"

Connor dropped his pencil and got up, motioning K.C. to follow him.

I felt my bladder catch up with me and saw this as an opportunity to go use the facilities. "Connor? Where is your bathroom?"

Alli raised her head at me and gave me a playful grin. _She's up to something_.

"Upstairs, it the last door on the right." He told me.

I nodded at him and headed towards the stairs.

When I was reaching the last step, I felt someone following me and I noticed that it was Alli. I crossed my arms and gave her a questioning look.

"What? I need to use the bathroom too." She laughed.

I shook my head and continued walking to the end of the hallway, just like Connor told me too.

I then became alert when I heard that Alli's footsteps came to an abrupt stop. The infamous slyness of Alli was displayed right in front of me, "Bathroom is this way." I scolded.

"This is Mr. Simpson's room..." She drawled.

"Alli, stop. We're going to get in trouble." I told her and walked up to her.

She looked at me attentively and then at my bag. She then inserted her hand inside of it and pulled out a pen. "Oops." She whispered and tossed my pen inside the room.

My eyes bulged at her childish act, "Hurry up. We're going to get caught!" I whispered at her while she crawled over to the side of our teacher's bed.

Her curious hands searched under the bed and pulled out a purple metallic tube wrapped in a plastic case. It looked like a tube or something.

"I don't have one of _these _in my room." Alli teased, as she examined the object. Her eyes made contact with mines and she wiggled her eyebrows. My eyes just focused on the object, wondering what it was.

"Clare?" Alli scoffed; I still gave her a questioning look. "It's a vibrator." I shrugged, still clueless. "_A sex toy_. Hello?" She states boldly, and my mind becomes engrossed with what is displayed upon me, my stomach churned at the realization._ So that's what they look like?_

Mary, the Reverend's wife, in charge of a youth group at my church, once said when we were discussing chastity, that sex and anything involved with that topic is perfectly normal, _only_ between a married man and woman. That refrained me from ever thinking about doing such things with that "filth", is what my mother described it to be.

"Put it back." I ordered her, but before she could do anything, we heard footsteps coming upstairs. Alli had no choice and stuffed the vibrator inside my bag.

A short woman looked at us curiously; I was guessing that was Mrs. Simpson. She called us down to eat something and ignored the fact that we were in her bedroom.

Alli and I walked downstairs. My conscious was consuming my thoughts, knowing I had a _vibrator_ in my bag.

* * *

To makes things much worse, I couldn't sleep last night. I had a _sex toy_ underneath my bed the whole night. A device men and women use to "pleasure" themselves in ways my mother and Reverend Duncan would shun upon. The thought of my mother finding it scared me to death. I looked at the object before I went to bed, but I couldn't hold on to it any longer, the guilt it made me feel was flooding my inner thoughts.

So when I woke up, I decided that Alli was going to help me fix the predicament we got ourselves into. I couldn't look at my mother the whole entire ride to school and remained quiet.

Once I walked inside the halls of Degrassi, I saw Alli talking with Anya. I pulled her away from Anya and dragged her inside the girls' bathroom.

I checked to see if the coast was clear, but didn't want to risk it. I then pulled her into an empty stall.

"Clare-"

I interrupted her and pulled the _object_ out of my bag, "Here" I gestured it to her, "I don't want it, and we need to put this back where it belongs."

Alli smiled at me and grabbed the object; her fingers began to tear the package, "What are you doing! We need to put it back!" I whispered in a firm voice.

"Relax. I just want to see what it's like." She rolled her eyes at me. Her gaze examined the _object _from top to bottom, and met a stop when she found a silver button at the bottom.

"Alli!" I whined.

"Clare, aren't you curious? Guys use this stuff too."

"No I am not!" I denied. "I wouldn't be interested in this-this _nonsense_! First of all, because I'm waiting to have sex before marriage, and secondly, I would_ never-ever_ marry someone who owns_ that_."

The thought of me using that or liking someone who does that makes me want to puke. It's like saying if K.C..._Oh God! Erase that thought away, Clare, erase!_

"Pretend it's a robot, just like from last week's competition." She reassured me.

I won't deny it. I was just as curious to see what it did, even though I knew I shouldn't be doing so, but it felt right.

Alli clicked the button and soft vibrations began to ring from its surface. _How is this a sex toy_?

"I don't get it? That's all it does?" I whispered.

"That's not _all_ it does." Alli said in suggestive tone, she handed it to me noticing my curiosity, and the jolt it send into my hands surprised me. I dropped it.

All was good with the world, until I bent down to pick it up and another hand met mines. _Dear God, please let it be someone I don't know_.

Alli and I froze with shock spread across our faces. "Is this yours?" A familiar voice asked out of the stall.

I opened the stall and saw that it was one of Darcy's old friends, Jane. "It's hers!" Alli and I blamed each other, completely embarrassed about the situation.

Jane eyed at us doubtfully. Alli being Alli, asked the most impulsive question to break the ice, "Do you have one?"

"Alli!" I gasped, "Don't listen to her." I told Jane. Sometimes Alli was too straight-forward and nonchalant towards the privacy of other people.

"Not this model." Jane smirked.

My mouth dropped at her blunt answer and Alli fought back a laugh. "Hey, solo-sex is totally normal, girls." Jane smiled at us and handed me the cold, metallic, _thing_.

Jane walked away, and Alli stared at the object in my hands, "Have you...ever..."

"Have I ever what?" I asked

Alli rolled her eyes and leaned into my ear, "Finger yourself?"

I felt my heartbeat pick up at the question, "Ew! Why would someone do that?"

Alli laughed at the situation, and I stayed still, not knowing how to stomach all of this in. The bell rang and Alli put _the thing_ back in my bag. "We have algebra, Clare." Alli giggled.

I followed her behind.

* * *

"Okay Connor, I see those binomials are becoming easier for you." Coach Armstrong patted Connor on the back after he solved a problem on the board.

I was taking notes as Connor passed by. _Out of all times_, my bag just had to be out in the open, and Connor almost tripped on it. Once his foot made a swift contact with my bag, a vibrating sound emerged.

_Oh no. This can't be happening. Please, don't be the vibrator. Please, please, please-_

"Clare, turn off your cell phone." Coach Armstrong walked towards me. At this point, the whole class had set their eyes on me, including K.C.

"I-I..." I couldn't find the words and I felt the color on my face beginning to drain away.

"Hand it over." He groaned. Before I could grab the bag away from him-

"Seriously guys, no phones allowed in cl-" Coach Armstrong stopped his talking and looked at the vibrator. THE VIBRATOR! In his hands.

The whole class laughed at me. Boys snickered. Girls giggled. Other's held onto their breaths._ And_ K.C. gave me a shocked look with a hearty chuckle.

I sank deep into my seat, wishing I were invisible.

"Saint Clare with a v-vibrator! The apocalypse has arrived!" A boy laughed and others, _including_ K.C. continued to humor themselves at the situation.

"Ms. Edwards, go to the office."

I didn't say anything and grabbed my stuff, heading out of the classroom as soon as possible. This was all a nightmare.

* * *

"Mom, why won't you look at me?"

After lying in front of our school's principle, that I bought the vibrator. My mother wouldn't look me in the eye, she seemed beyond furious and disappointed in me.

"Clare..." She sighed and looked at me with the most serious look a mother could give, "Are you having sex?"

I couldn't believe the question she asked me. Did she really not trust me? Or was it that what I did was that bad? I couldn't help but feel so disappointed in myself, hating the fact that I got into this mess. I felt like a _sinner_.

"Of course not!" I yelped.

"Then why do you have..._that_?" My mother gulped nervously. I hated to see her like this.

"I barely even know what it's for."

"And how does that justify your actions, young lady?" She snapped at me.

"I am sick of being the odd one out. You and Dad never talk to me about this, who else am I suppose to-"

"Enough." My mother interrupts, she taps her foot impatiently and raises her hand in the direction of the end of the hallway, "Get back to class." She looks at me. I stare at her in disbelief, and seeing that I don't budge a move, she repeats herself, "Well? Go on." She sighs.

I walk away, feeling like a horrible person.

* * *

"_Clare_." My mother is by my door.

"Mom?" I test the waters, checking if she's still mad at me.

"You know...you're not a bad person." She approaches me and sits on the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I just, you and your sister...I love you two so much, I only want to protect you guys from any harm, ever since what happened to Darcy."

"Mom, I'm not using it."

"Then why do you have it?" She questions.

"B-because, there's so much I want to know and not be left behind with all the other kids. I feel so uncomfortable having other people think I'm a clueless prude." I feel my eyes begin to water.

My mother scoots next to me and wraps her arms around me, "Clare, you are not alone. I guess it is partially my fault for not speaking to you about these things."

"Then when can I learn?" I lay my head on the crook of her neck.

My mother breathes worriedly and pats my back, "Well, what do you want to know?"

I look into her eyes and notice her sincerity, I decide to take this to my advantage. "How...why do people do that?"

My mother laughs lightly, "_Well_, when a woman, or a girl around you're age, have all these feelings that..."

_So that's what the number sixty-nine meant? Ew._

_And that's how you use a vibrator? Oh._

_That's what "come" means? Ohh._

Part of me wishes I never knew what my mother explained to me. I feel like the barriers I once attained became more loose, crumbling around the edges. But now I know. I know all these new terms, new processes everyone has. It scares me. I never want to wake up in the morning, having my underwear unexpectedly wet. I don't want to have sexual urges, this fact alone makes me want to stay away from K.C.

But **it will happen** and there's nothing that could stop it. I was already beginning to experience half of the things my mother told me about. I thought I was sick when I would wake up in the morning with a bit of blood drenched on me. It was unbearable. Now, I feel more comfortable about it. I knew what sex was. I just never knew how the process was made _physically_. And I'm not talking about mitosis or spermatozoa, ovum. For some strange reason, I thought sex was just a man and a woman naked, and sleeping with each other. Now it's more complicated than that. A man has to "enter" a woman. I am now more afraid of sex, knowing that someone would insert something inside of me, and that it will hurt, _a lot_. This talk was informative.

It was eye-opening. Not exactly life-changing, but I guess you could something close to that. Maybe one day I will do all those things, I will use a vibrator, I will have sex, and I will have "needs", but right now...that's something personal for me to decide when and how. I am still awkward about the topic, I don't think I could talk to Alli about this, but one day I will. I just hope I do all these things with someone who respects me and loves me, with the same intensity I do for them.

* * *

**A/N:**

Review?


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